One of the challenges of long-term relationships is keeping your sex life exciting. Marriage definitely has its perks, but it has its downsides, too. In a marriage or a long-term relationship, things can get stagnant sometimes. You begin to find less time for sex in your day to day activities, and your intimate moments with your spouse slowly begin to appear stale and dull.
Every once in a while you might want to shake things up in the bedroom and innovate things a little to bust the boredom. Good sex boosts intimacy, which is the key to a strong relationship both in and out of the bedroom. This article will talk about ways you can rekindle your sex life, make it fun and exciting again and ultimately bring sex satisfaction in your marriage.
1. Sexual Surprises: The Key to Sex Satisfaction in Marriage
Women enjoy the element of surprise, more so in bed. In marriage satisfaction inventory, surprising your wife is one of the biggest advises. Even conservative women, who may not prefer surprises, enjoy things out of the box when it comes to sex.
A lot of men are afraid that their partner may not like experimenting in bed. Many of them even have misconceptions about what women like or do not like. Do not be afraid to experiment and surprise her. Chances are your spontaneity will send a message to your wife that she is irresistible to you.
Here are some tips to help you get started:
Greet Her With a Kiss on the Neck: Women do not say it out loud, but almost all of them like to be kissed on the neck. A kiss on the neck means that you find her attractive. It is an intimate, yet classy action. Kiss your wife on the neck when she is least expecting it. Even if you do not end up having sex immediately, there are high chances she will want to go to bed with you the first chance she gets.
Wear a Pheromone Spray: This is something totally unorthodox yet scientifically proven to work. Scientists believe that you secrete a set of chemicals called pheromones that make you attractive to the opposite sex. What you can try is putting on a pheromone spray to spice things up even further in bed.
Nexus Pheromones is one such spray. It contains a set of pheromones that you naturally secrete in your sweat. Putting on this spray can trigger a sexual response in your partner and can make you more desirable in bed.
Kiss Her During Sex: Sometimes men get so involved in the action that they forget to kiss during sex. Kissing helps to maintain an emotional connection. It transforms the sex into an act of love. If kissing during sex is not something you normally do, take a minute next time to stop and kiss her. She will be pleasantly surprised and much aroused by it.
Have a Post-Sex Plan: Having sex is exhausting. No wonder most men like to roll over and get a nap after sex. Once in a while if you spend the post-sex nap time snuggling together, it will not only surprise your wife, but will also show her that you love her. You could also plan a hot bath together or eat a bowl of ice-cream together after sex for variety.
If you want to make your wife happy and bring sex satisfaction in marriage, think about ways you can increase her pleasure. Talk to her about experimenting in bed, her sexual fantasies and plan to surprise her every now and then. You can keep you sex-life from becoming mundane only if you can keep surprising your wife every now and then.
2. Keep The Lines of Communication Open
Sexual satisfaction in married couples means being open and honest with each other. If you have lived with each other for a long time, chances are that you are not shy anymore. Be candid about your sexual fantasies and ask her about hers. Every once in a while, take time off to explore these fantasies for sexual satisfaction.
Telling your wife that you are not happy with your sex life may not be easy. You may not find it comfortable talking about sex as a personal and intimate experience with your partner. You might worry that it would make you vulnerable as she finds out about the things you truly value. Similarly, your wife might hold back the things she may want to discuss with you.
Communicating your feelings and ideas about sex is the best way you can revive your sex life. If you discuss about sexual satisfaction in your marriage with your wife and learn her opinions in return, you will be able to:
Learn about each other’s preferences in bed.
Trust each other better.
Be more confident about each other.
Bring intimacy and affection into your marriage.
Numerous studies have shown that communication is the key to satisfying marriages. Make a conscious effort to communicate. Aim to find time for each other to share day-to-day experiences, feelings, goals etc. If your wife is not in the mood for sex lately, ask her about it. It is better to try and find out what is bothering her than sit back and feel confused and rejected.
3. Make Time to Make Love
Healthy sex life is important for marriage satisfaction. Besides being good for your health, regular sex can have great effects on your relationship with your wife. But when you have been married for a long time, you tend to put several things like your career or your kids over sex. Sex can give a couple the opportunities to share intimate moments with each other. A lack of intimacy in a relationship can lead to estrangement.
Do not let physical intimacy sink to the bottom of your priority list. Here are some ways you can make time for sex and make the most of the time:
Get in the Mood: After a long day, you may not feel like having sex. But do not give up just yet. Building anticipation by cuddling on the couch while watching TV or taking a relaxing bath together is a good way to slowly get yourself and your wife in the mood for sex.
Offer to Help With the Housework: Offer to clean the kitchen after dinner or put the kids to bed. Research shows that men doing housework is a huge turn-on for women. But turn-on or not, it will definitely help your wife to call it a day faster and save her some energy to have sex.
Take a Vacation Together: If you live in an environment where you rarely get enough privacy, or if you are both career oriented people with busy schedules, taking a vacation together will help you to make time for each other. Take some time off from work or family to spend with each other can bring marital bliss back into your life.
Make a Date: Choose a day that works for both of you and mark it on a calendar with a big heart. If nothing works, this will definitely help you remember to make time for sex.
With a little effort, you will be able to make time for sex and bring intimacy into your marriage. A marriage can only thrive as long as you enjoy each other’s company and can make time for each other every day.
4. Give Her Time to Cope From Childbirth: How to Gradually Get Your Sex Life Back
Women tend to pull away from sex after childbirth. There can be many reasons for this. Some women are too focused on being a mom, while others feel self-conscious about their bodies, but the biggest reason is exhaustion.
Most new moms are overwhelmed with the responsibility of a new baby. They don’t get enough sleep and have little to no time to themselves. This can make having marriage satisfaction after baby a challenge. It is the husband’s duty to give his wife the space she needs, build her confidence up, and plan to gradually get sex back into the marriage.
If motherhood and childcare are making your wife feel undervalued and exhausted, you can do some the following things to bring intimacy back into your marriage:
Romance Her: Give her compliments on a day-to-day basis. Tell her that she looks good. Show her that you still desire her.
Help Her With the Chores: Managing a baby, as well as doing household chores can be tiring for her. Help your wife with the chores. It will save you both some time to spend with each other.
Compliment Her on What She Does as a Mother: New mothers are constantly worried that they are not doing enough for their babies. Help her confidence by telling her that she is doing a good job.
Look for Opportunities to Treat Your Wife: Use the time when your little one is asleep at night. Have a takeaway and a movie, open a bottle of wine, give her a foot massage and make love if you both are in the mood.
Let your wife know that her pleasure is more important to you than your own. She probably needs to be reminded that she is not only a mother, but also a woman in her own right. Keep telling her how much you love her and the intimacy will never leave your marriage.
5. Spice Things Up: Experiment With Sex
Improve the way you make love by allowing it to change. Sex may seem mundane because you have chosen a certain way of having it. You tend to repeat certain acts every time. The couples who enjoy sex even after years of being married are the ones who take up a variety of sexual habits, options and attitudes. Variety eliminates boredom.
The following suggestions can help you introduce variety to your sex life:
Quickies: You can enjoy a quickie when you do not have time. It is a great way for couples who have kids to enjoy sex without having to take time out of their busy schedules.
Sneaky Sex: Sneaky sex can be a huge turn-on for some people. Having sex quietly, behind locked doors is another great way of being intimate with your partner when you do not have time for a romantic evening.
Romantic Sex: This kind of sex involves candle-light dinners, dressing up and luxury hotel rooms to celebrate the quite romantic evening before sex. Romantic sex is great for celebrating anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or simply for pampering your wife.
Make-Up Sex: Every time you have an argument, make-up with sex. When you have forgiven each other, lovemaking can become extra romantic and passionate.
Fantasy Sex: If you like, you can indulge in fantasy sex. Many couples enjoy role playing where they pretend to be someone else. You can make use of costumes, masks, sex toys and any such prop to make it feel more real.
The idea is to get creative and start experimenting in bed. Provide something new and exciting each time you have sex. Remember, you are most attractive when you are at your seductive best.
6. Small Changes Can Have Big Effects
Small changes can have big effects. Spicing things up means you have to do something different. You can make a few small changes in your daily routine to add the element of spontaneity and variety to your sex life:
Try a different time. If you have sex at a certain time of the day, every once in a while have sex at a different time.
Have sex at different locations. Get down on a new surface, on the stairs, on the top of the washing machine, practically anywhere in the house apart from your bedroom.
Use pillows or try new sex positions. The internet is brimming with information on sex positions.
Vary it often. Have sex in a combination of sneaky sex, romantic sex and quickies.
It is important to bring variations in the way you have sex. Small changes in your routine can help to bust boredom.
7. Learn to Talk Dirty
While women can moan during sex, men cannot do that, but they can do some dirty talk to make sex exciting. Women enjoy dirty talk, but talking dirty is an art. While talking dirty to your wife, you must keep her feelings in mind. Nothing can be worse than upsetting your woman in the middle of an orgasm.
Here are few tips to help you understand the nuances of dirty talking:
Ask your wife if she likes dirty talk. Some women do not enjoy perverse talk while it may arouse others. It is important to always make sure whether your partner really enjoys it before you blurt out the thoughts running through your mind.
Start slowly. Begin by saying something tame and see if she is enjoying. If both of you enjoy fantasizing while having sex, you will be able to take your dirty talking skills to the next level as the days pass.
Do not repeat the same words during sex. It can be a huge turn-off to hear the same thing repeatedly.
Make sure she can visualize what you are saying. Women need to have their minds racing during sex. Dirty talk can give them sexual bliss, but only when they can visualize them.
Do not mumble your words. Speak clearly and let her play along. Dirty talk is more exciting when you both participate.
Surprise her with a love bite in between dirty talk. Doing something spontaneous will excite her further.
What you say is important. If your partner thinks you have been too bold, she will wonder how a person as normal as you can be a dirty pervert. But keeping a tab on what you are thinking while having sex can be difficult. If you think you have said something that might have offended your spouse, talk to her about it as soon as you get a chance.
Do not get carried away. Remember to draw the line and play it safe while talking dirty.
You can call her names, tell her about the things you will do to her and instruct her. Ask her to open up. A woman will enjoy the act of lovemaking more is she feels bold and uninhibited. Ask her to imagine something naughty and tell you about it. It will encourage her to begin playing along with you and actually enjoy dirty talk.
Your sex life can suffer from factors like busy schedules, children, health conditions or simply boredom and this may lead you to wonder whether your marital sex life is normal. There is no such thing as normal. How often married couples have sex is different for different couples.
According to a marriage satisfaction survey by Reddit, some have sex three times a day. Others have it once in two weeks. There is no benchmark on a marriage satisfaction scale for how often you should have sex to have a happy marriage. There are many marriage satisfaction quizzes on the internet that claim to tell you whether you are having a happy marriage. But most of these are trash.
What is important to focus on in the survey by Reddit is the sexual satisfaction in these married couples. However frequently or infrequently they chose to have sex is not important. The main thing is that they all said they were happy in their marriage. If you feel loved, trusted and have sex satisfaction in marriage for in your relationship, your marriage is healthy.
It is possible to have a sexless yet happy marriage but in most cases sex and marital satisfaction goes hand in hand. Sex satisfaction and happy marriage become closely linked. Many marriage satisfaction statistics suggest that for a happy marriage, things like honesty, loyalty, commitment and communication are just as important as sex.
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