Fact: the female orgasm is a complicated concept. Apparently, ripping each other’s clothes off and spending time down there is often not enough to help your ladylove reach orgasm. No matter how much you want to give it to her, there are instances when your efforts are not enough.
Don’t feel bad. Even experts who spend years inside the lab have difficulty understanding what female orgasm really is and what it’s all about. To give you an idea, think about the existence of the abominable snowman or the existence of mermaids and you’ll get the picture.
You might say, “If experts can’t define what the female orgasm is, what else can you do to make every session the most pleasurable experience for her?” The answer is, a lot. This may not be the perfect formula, but here are at least a dozen things you need to know about female orgasm and some helpful tips to make her happy in bed.
1. The Biggie: Why Women Fake The Big O
Did you know that most women fake orgasm once in a while? You won’t even notice it, because they are so used to doing it, they’ve gotten better in faking it.
According to the latest research studies, as much as 53 to 67 percent of women fake the big O from time to time. There are several reasons why they do this, and although some won’t make you happy, being aware is the first step for understanding her.
Your woman sometimes fakes the big O because she:
Wants to please you.
Is not in the mood to have sex but because she wants you to happy, she gives in.
Likes to have a happy ending in bed, too.
Strives to avoid any negative feelings inside the bedroom.
Feels too tired and just wants to end the session, so she can sleep.
2. Don’t Obsess Over Orgas
Another fact: men reach orgasm faster than women do. As soon as you are inside her, give yourself six to eight minutes and you will surely release those juices. Unfortunately for her, she’s just getting started. This is one of the reasons why women fake orgasm. They feel they are taking too long in bed that they end up either foregoing orgasm or faking it, whichever works best.
Therefore, make sure to keep her relaxed and pressure-free inside the bedroom. Tell her she has all night and that there is no need to rush. Orgasm is the end goal, but that doesn’t mean you should focus on that alone. With or without orgasm, sex is about pleasure and fulfilling one another’s fantasies and preferences in bed.
3. Some Women Simply Can’t Orgasm
Have you heard of the term, anorgasmia? It is a condition where women have difficulty getting that big O despite the fact you’re spending ample time down south. Apparently, it affects 10 percent of all women around the world.
There are a variety of reasons why this happens. Sometimes, it’s physical, other times, it’s psychological and oftentimes, it can even be situational. There are instances when some women used to have orgasm, and then they experience anorgasmia later on. If your girl is having trouble with orgasm, be with her when she schedules that checkup.
4. Tell Her How Beautiful She Is To You
By nature, women worry too much about the way they look. Although men are starting to be regular customers, you will notice that most of the clients of cosmetic surgeons are women.
Sadly, this worry shows inside the bedroom and makes them less likely to orgasm. Studies show that they are less sexually assertive as a result, as well.
Therefore, let her know how much you find her beautiful – she’s your goddess, after all. If you like what you are seeing, speak up and say so in a loving manner.
Appreciate her assets and provide ample compliments. Just take it easy on giving them, because too much flattery could be annoying. Plus, women can tell if you are saying it just to get lucky, so be sincere.
5. Encourage Orgasm-Booster Exercises
The idea of orgasm through exercise goes way back, even before you were born. However, it was only a few years ago when experts decided to explore this arena a little further. In 2011, the researchers from Indiana University surveyed more than a 100 women about exercise-induced orgasm. According to their study, they found out that weight lifting and exercises that target the abdominal area, or the core, are orgasmic.
What does it have to do with unlocking her big O? The next time you go to the gym, bring her with you. It’s a win-win situation. You both lose weight and at the same time, make orgasm for hermore easily accessible.
6. Your Talent And Skills Matter
No doubt, when you were younger, you never understood why your mom always asked you to show your talent during those family reunions or on Christmas Day. Now that you’re older, it turns out your talent has a good use – in bed.
According to research at The Kinsey Institute, talent is a powerful aphrodisiac. This means you don’t need overly-toned biceps or killer six-pack abs to get her in the mood for love.
All you need is some confidence and a bankable talent, it seems. So, don’t be ashamed to show off your singing or artistic skills, or even being able to turn that cherry stem into a knot.
Just in case you’re wondering, humor is a talent, too.
7. Get To Know All Of Her Boobies
This is a problem among men. When it’s her breasts’ turn, you tend to focus on her nipples and areola and forget the rest of the pack. Apparently, that’s not how it goes. Believe it or not, all parts of her breasts play a major role in her orgasm. Therefore, during foreplay, gently brush the top, sides and bottom part of her breasts. These areas are more sensitive than her nipples, which is why it is best to park your lips in the area.
Once she is aroused enough, move in towards her nipples. As things heat up, blood will come rushing to her nipple area and activate the sensory receptors needed for stimulation. This is known as slow buildup and could help you a lot in unlocking her big O, which leads you to the next tip.
8. Go For The Slow Buildup
Women love a slow buildup during manual stimulation. Unless the situation calls for rough action, take time to enjoy the journey until you reach her special area down there. Once you’re there, here’s how to do the buildup the make-her-orgasm a definite possibility. Lightly kiss you way south. As the tension builds up, provide indirect stimulation to her lady parts by slowly working your way around them. Then, move south gently, breathing on her skin and building up her anticipation as you go. Be creative and take cues from her, too. This will surely blow her away.
9. Make Multitasking You Mission
No, this doesn’t mean you should check your email or finish your work while humping her. By multitasking, this means you need to think of ways and try different positions that could hit two birds with one stone. However, make sure that you focus on her most sensitive areas to maximize pleasure.
The best way to do this is by doing the missionary position without actually going inside her. By curling your arms around her shoulders while you are on top, you will be able to use the base of your member to come close to her clitoris. The up-and-down movement will definitely keep things more exciting inside the bedroom.
10. Age Matters – Or Not
Most women dread the menopausal stage. Aside from the physical and internal changes in the body, women will experience changes in their libido and area down there, like dryness, for example.
Still, this doesn’t mean that the younger the woman is, the better and easier orgasm will be.
Based on the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, older women have a higher chance of orgasm during masturbation than younger ones. At the same time, there was no significant change when it comes to orgasm with a partner. The possible reason for this is that older women focus more on pleasure, and not just on the actual penetration.
What does this mean? It means we can’t blame age for a lack of orgasms. Sometimes, the younger women have more issues down there than their older counterparts.
11. Stress Is Her Orgasm’s Biggest Enemy
Many women are having problems having an orgasm. Not all are capable of having multiple orgasms, too. The culprit nowadays is an increase in stress. Stress is a major hindrance and could get in your way when you’re both inside the bedroom. Therefore, help her address her stress issues by understanding her needs. Don’t put too much pressure on her to perform well. If you feel she is not in the mood, don’t force the issue.
Instead, help her de-stress by allowing her to take additional 15 minutes in the shower, giving her a massage or cooking a yummy meal for her. If nothing else, listen to her. You don’t always need to provide a solution, because all she may need is just someone to listen and vent her feelings to in safety and in confidence. This could help a lot in giving her mood a boost.
12. External Stimulation Is The Key
Given all the information about female orgasm, one thing is for sure: external stimulation plays a major role in a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm. The best way to give it to her is through clitoral stimulation.
You can do this orally, manually or by hand, using a vibrator or doing different sex positions such as dog style that put emphasis on the tiny orgasmic trigger down there.
However, don’t rush. Despite the time and effort you use to stimulate her, she still needs enough time before she gets there. With these tips, are you ready to unlock your ladylove’s orgasm? You will be her hero and strengthen the bond you share, too. It’s a win-win for everyone.
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