You head out of town or go into a new bar. You see this beautiful, smoking hot lady that makes your world stop for a beat. What do you do? This is like the beginning of a single man’s journey to a romantic evening – or a romantic life, if you play your cards right. Either way, if you want to get some action, you have to make your move.
You can’t expect the lady to move into your territory. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Actually, that could even be better. But let’s face it: you like her, in a bar full of strangers.Even with the modern age, the male gender is still the one expected to make the first approach. Now your question is: how?
If you’re one of those men who have no trouble with walking up to women, you might want to add some things to your list of do’s and don’ts. If you’re one of those awkward dudes who just can’t seem to find the right words or the right moves to approaching a girl, then listen up. First and foremost, you need to stand up and start moving towards her. Your next moves will determine whether she will entertain you or not. Here are 10 tips to help you acquire your dream woman:
1. Do Not Hesitate
Like a tiger waiting for her prey, women can sense fear. Women can sense hesitation when you approach them. They hate it. Hesitation is a sign that you are not fully interested, and that will push her away.
Any chances you might have to get her digits or take her to your hotel room for the night is busted once you show even the slightest hint of hesitation before approaching her.
Here’s what you can do: Stand up straight, look her in the eye as you approach her, and walk confidently. It will make her feel that you are interested enough to have the balls to approach her in a room full of other people.
2. Don’t Be Too Cocky
Be confident, but do not overdo it. Do not, in any way, be cocky. Seriously, it’s not cute. Unless you are Ryan Gosling or Ian Somerhalder, you can keep your cockiness to yourself. Better yet, shove it deep down where the lady won’t see even a hint of it.
Cockiness will make women feel that you are over confident with yourself and think you can get any woman you want. That is a big turn off for them. Just be confident in an acceptable way. Focus on her eyes and on her face when you’re talking to her. Don’t look at her breasts, no matter how tempting they may be.
3. Don’t Ask For Her Number Right Away
Are you in a hurry or late for your flight? No? Then don’t jump into asking for her number right away.
If you do, you will look like either of two things: creepy or funny like a clown. These two won’t get you laid, so quit getting excited with getting her number.
Go through the notions like any normal meet and greet would have. Talk to her, make eye contact and if you can, make her laugh. The number can wait. With the right moves, there’s a big chance you’ll get her number in the morning when you wake up together in your hotel room or in her bed.
4. Go With The Basics
You may have read a lot of pickup lines for laughs, or you may have witnessed many pickup techniques in the TV series and movies that you watch. Here’s a myth buster: none of them works in real life. You can’t just walk up to some lady in a bar and tell her how nice her breasts are. You’ll end up getting splashed with an alcoholic beverage if you are not careful.
Go with the basics. Smile and say hi. In this day and age, women appreciate men who still possess the value of respect and the old school way of introducing themselves. State your name, and then ask for hers. That’s how you strike a conversation anywhere, anytime.
5. Compliment Subtly
“You have beautiful lips” is a big turn off. She knows you’re thinking about wrapping them around your tool.
“Your dress suits you well” is also not good. She knows you really looking at how the dress clings to her breasts.
When it comes to complimenting women, you should always go with honesty, because women can sense if you’re lying. How can she not? She just spent hours perfecting that look and she knows exactly what she looks like.
Saying the honest to goodness thing that came to your mind the moment your eyes set on her would be the best way to go. But don’t overdo it; don’t treat her like a princess, especially if she does not know you. Don’t say things like “Your eyes are like the stars in my dark night.” Save that for your anniversaries. Say things like “You’re pretty,” or order her next round of drinks to let her know you’re interested.
6. Move Fast
If the lady is an eye-catcher, you can bet your eyes are not the only ones who are on her. There will be competition, and they are just waiting for your one wrong move, so they can move in. Don’t give them the chance to do that. Move fast, but not at an obvious pace. Ask her if she wants to go somewhere else, like taking a walk down the boulevard, or moving to the part of the bar where the crowd is thinner and the noise is less.
Talking in a quiet place will make the conversation more interesting and it could bloom into something more. You’ll never know, you can lose track of time just talking about anything under the sun. That is one of the female fantasies that you can help her fulfill.
7. The First Rejection May Very Well Be A Test
She could possibly say no at first. You have to expect that. She does not know you, so why would she talk to you? It’s a natural security instinct for women and her way of testing how interested you really are.
When she says she is not interested, but she is looking you in the eye, there is a big chance that she’s just testing you out.
Don’t waver in your confidence, soldier. Here is where you can prove that you like her and that you want to get to know her. You just might need to tweak your moves a little bit.
8. Do Not Be Aggressive
If she says no, and she does not even look you in the eye, either she’s with someone else or she’s just not interested. If she says no for a second and third time, that’s your social cue of scampering away. Otherwise, she might end up calling security and have you dragged out of the bar.
Pushing it would give her the impression that you’re either a psycho or just an obnoxious and aggressive brat that pouts because he can’t get whatever he wants. If she says a determined no, better luck next time, man. Move on to the next target.
9. Just Say No To The Friend-Zone
Do not, in any way, act like you’re asking her name because you want to be her BFF. This is the problem with most men who are automatically placed in the friend-zone.
It’s because the interest he showed in the beginning revolved more on him wanting to befriend the girl. So that’s what he ended up in becoming – the friend.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Many successful love stories of our time started off with the man and woman being great friends. But if you’re looking for a hook up, lose the friendly smile and put on a more smooth and I’m-interested-in-you deeper smile.
10. Talk Dirty In A Clean Way
Flirting in a bar filled with other people revolves around how well you use your words. The more double-meaning they are, the better. After all, if she chooses to reject you or accuse you of being a jerk, you can backtrack on the things that you said and hey, you did not really say anything bad.
So choose your words wisely. Mix up some clean words and talk to her in a professional way. If she bites, you are in for a treat.
Women. Even with the never-ending battle for sexual equality, the “approaching and introducing himself” is still an untouched department. This means men are still the dominant players in this game. That also means that you have a lot of competition, and so your game play should also be strong.
Knowing how to approach a woman is a key skill to get you laid. First impressions are always important. The next time you head out of town, be sure that aside from the clothes you pack, you bring along these techniques to use in approaching a woman successfully.
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