Imagine this: You meet a girl and hit it off instantly. You start going out together, sometimes just the two of you. So, you are pretty sure that she enjoys your company as much as you enjoy hers. This gives you an idea that maybe, it’s worth a shot.
After a couple of weeks of going out, you finally muster up the courage to say how much you like her. She smiles. Then the following days are crucial.She stops replying to your texts, she doesn’t answer your calls – and suddenly, she’s MIA on your Friday night dinner-movie-coffee plans.
Unfortunately, she only sees you as a friend – and nothing else. In short, her constant refusal to talk to you is her way of saying you’ve been friend zoned – and that’s not a good sign. Can you get out of the situation? Of course. The good news is there is something you can do to make the woman of your dreams see that you are more than just a friend who is willing to listen to her daily rants.
1. Accept The Situation
Before anything else, you need to accept the fact that the woman you imagined your future with only sees you as her, ouch, dependable buddy.
Pleading or begging her to see you as a passionate lover simply won’t cut it. Plus, it screams desperation, giving her enough reason to put you not just in the friend zone, but also on her blacklist.
Apparently, a woman’s mind is so complicated, it is difficult to tell whether you can move up to her “prospects” list. Hence, the best you can do is to face the truth and accept the reality that she only wants to be friends – at least for now. Take this as an opportunity to improve yourself more and focus less on her.
2. Just Be Cool With It
Aside from learning to accept the reality that you’re just friends, for now, you have to learn how to be cool with it, too. The truth is there are many worse things in this world than being in the friend zone. Therefore, stop complaining and feeling bad about it and start being a man. The less you worry and the less you care about it, the more you will feel confident about yourself.
So what if you and your childhood crush didn’t end up together? It only means that there is someone better coming along. Also, if she wants to be a friend, then be a friend. Great relationships start with a good foundation and whatever happens, friendship is always a good foundation for any relationship.
3. Go M-I-A
Missing in action, that is. Since you are in the friend zone, the girl you are eyeing for simply looks at you as her, sort of, personal assistant. She’ll call on you every time she needs a ride or when things didn’t work out between her and her man of her dreams, or even as her shopping buddy.
You don’t want that. You want to be the man she longs for. Therefore, make yourself unavailable for her. Stop texting, calling, or even leaving comments on her Facebook account.
The more time you spend apart, the more she will realize your worth. Let her chase you and make sure she is the first one to ask what you have been up to lately. In case she stopped looking for you, then so what. Maybe she’s really a user who takes advantage of people who want her. You don’t want to end up with that kind of girl, do you?
4. Make Up With Yourself
Now that you’re M-I-A, take this opportunity to focus on improving yourself. Every human being deserves to give him or herself a break once in a while, including you. Take some time to reconnect with yourself.
Start to eat healthy, exercise regularly – and get those six-pack abs you’ve been aiming for. Go out with old, but real friends, learn a new skill, rekindle your love for sports or simply try new activities that will get your adrenaline pumping again. In short, just have fun with your life. Life is so short, so make the most out of it. Don’t worry. Putting yourself first is not a sign of weakness. It only shows that you are willing to do everything to improve yourself and make yourself feel more confident.
5. Make It All About You
Okay, let’s assume you can’t get over the girl, and you are really having a hard time trying to forget her. When she calls, and you can’t do anything but answer, then here’s a tip for you.
Make yourself the star of the show. When you are in the friend zone, this means you will spend a lot of time talking about her, which makes you feel, well somehow, unimportant.
You are also an interesting person like her, so be proactive. Talk about your dreams, share your stories and discuss your opinions on certain things.
If she starts to listen, then maybe you have a shot. But don’t push it yet. If she can’t stand listening to what you have to say, then it only means one thing: She is not worth your time. Any relationship should never be one-sided.
6. Go Outside Of Your Circles
It’s a Saturday night with no plans whatsoever. Suddenly, your college buddies text you and invite you out for a drink. Go ahead and grab that chance. This will give you an opportunity to meet other people. After all, it’s possible that your guy buds have girl friends who can introduce you to their girl friends, right?
Believe it or not, the more women you meet, the better it will be for you to forget the girl who friend-zoned you. Eventually, she will notice that you two are not spending some time together and might be surprised to see those Facebook photos with gorgeous women surrounding you.
7. The Text And Calling Game
So, the girl said she just wants to be friends with you. That’s fine. Show her what kind of friend you really are. In the event that she calls or texts you, here’s what you will do.
Be sporadic in terms of the number of times you will initiate conversation with the girl. Try your best to ignore some of her calls and texts, or at least respond after a few days.
Every time you respond to her message, answer straight to the point. No LOL or smiley’s at the end.
In other words, don’t jump and celebrate when you see her text or missed calls. Let her do the chase. Show her you are in control of the situation. You’re just a “friend,” right?
8. Go On A Non-Date
If you are doing the usual dinner-coffee dates before you got friend zoned, then it’s time to change the approach. This time, ask her on a non-date. Basically, it’s a get together where you ask her to accompany you when you are about to do something, such as buying new clothes for an event or picking up the laundry.
If you ask her out on a date, which means flowers, chocolates, dinner and the works, there is a greater chance that she will turn you down. Friends don’t go on a date, right? Plus, there is no point of dating anyway, since you are already on the friends list. However, if you ask her to accompany you to do certain tasks, there is a greater chance she will go with you. At least you don’t have to worry about making reservations and buying a dozen of her favorite pink roses, only to get rejected.
9. Flirt – In The Most Subtle Way Possible
Okay, this is challenging. How do you flirt with someone who already friend-zoned you? Well, it’s easy.
Keep in mind that relationships are also a matter of sexual attraction. Therefore, start with playful, but respectful comments. Compliment her scent or how her new hairdo looks good on her. At the same time, work on those touches. Start with casual touch on her arm. Then move on to her back.
You have to be careful on this one. Too high means you are really friends and nothing else, while too low screams “I want you for sex,” both of which you don’t like. Once you’ve graduated from this, move on to casual hugs and kiss-on-the-cheek goodbyes.
Don’t forget to be a bit boastful here, especially when she tells you about the men she’s seeing. Talk about your dates, too. This way, you are able to emphasize your sexuality.
10. Do The Moves
To accomplish your mission of getting out of the friend zone, make sure to make your move. It’s a gradual process, but if you notice her being extra touchy, or she stops seeing other guys except for you, then there might be a chance, after all. Take advantage of it because who knows, she might be falling for you.
But if she continuously drops some hints that you’re just a friend to her, then stop all your efforts and move on. Maybe, you are just meant to be friends and nothing else. Friends are important in our lives, too.
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