Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable. You do crazy things and put heaven knows what on each other’s holes – Okay, that’s just too much. While getting that “big O” is the ultimate objective of this game, there will be instances where you or your partner will be subjected to the most embarrassing moments, intentional or not.
If you think being naked and vulnerable with another person who you may or may have not feelings for is embarrassing enough, wait until you experience any of these 10 awkward sex moments. And don’t worry, there are tips on how you can recover from it and make each moment go from awkward and crazy, to funny and even sexy.
1. Farting, Whether During Or After Sex
Passing gas is a natural thing. When you feel that there is a need to release gas, thanks to the big bowl of beans you ate at dinner, you have two options. You can either let it go and naughtily blame her for passing out, or you can excuse yourself and pass gas in the bathroom.
If you are in a more established relationship, be playful and do a “Dutch oven,” by pulling up the covers and letting your partner savor that gaseous smell. She might be annoyed, so make sure to make up for it after.
2. Crossing Her Boundaries
Sure, you want to try anal sex, a threesome or perhaps you’re into role playing. Apparently, she’s not. In case you blurt out something she’s not comfortable with, the first thing you need to do is to apologize.
Let her know that you respect her feelings and will not, in any way, force her to be in a situation she’s not comfortable with, ever.
3. Your Dirty Talk Is Not Too Dirty
You’ve probably seen too much porn and mastered the dirty lines said by this time. In the hopes of getting her turned on, you blurted out some lines from your favorite porn flick. Instead of putting her in the mood, she decided to give you a weird look.
Before you spell awkward, here’s what you should do. Turn the situation into a game and ask your girl to think of the most unsexy thing to say during foreplay. It might or might not ruin your mood for sex but at least you had a good laugh.
4. When Pain Starts To Get In The Way
This can be tons of possibilities. It can be falling off the bed together, getting cramps, bumping heads in the dark or even crushing her with your enormous butt. The best you can do is to take a break and just laugh it off. Nobody’s perfect, including you. And there are times that you can’t control the situation, no matter how careful you are.
If she is willing to laugh it off, then you’re good. Expect some sexy time as soon as both of you have recovered from this painful to playful situation.
5. Calling Her The Wrong Name
This can be pretty embarrassing. Calling out your girl a different name, especially when you two are in action only shows that you are a) a jerk, or b) still a jerk.
Better grab your clothes and run for your life, because she will never have sex with you again. And if you happen to be in a relationship, expect a major world war.
That only means you’re cheating, or at least fantasizing about another girl besides her who happens to be an ordinary person, not a Hollywood actress.
When this happens, stay calm. Give her a slight cocky smile and call her in another’s name again. Then use another name until she’s able to buy your story. So, good luck on this one.
Who says gas only comes out from you-know-where. Apparently, air can get trapped in a woman’s vagina that is most likely to pass during sex. While this may not be the most romantic sound, a lot of couples experience this and yes, it is normal.
In case this happens, tell your partner to move her hips around to help push the air out of the vagina. After all, trapped air down there can be uncomfortable for you both.
7. Go with The Flow
And by flow, this means pee. Imagine this, you are in the middle of the best sex of your life and when you are about to release your juices, pee comes out with it too.
It so happens that your release is just so big, even the bladder cannot contain its excitement and decided to let it all out with your partner.
Hiding your face for the rest of your life may be the best idea but before you do, just apologize sincerely, grab her hand and take a shower together. Tell her you’re willing to make it up. If she refuses, don’t force the issue and just stop seeing her.
8. Getting Walked In On
So, there you are enjoying this intimate moment when your partner when suddenly, the door swings open. It’s your little brother, mom or friend or whoever and sees your bare bum and a naked girl. Don’t shout. Keep it cool and grab the nearest clothing or sheets that can cover you two. Believe it or not, this person is as embarrassed as you are and they’ll end up storming out of your room.
Lesson learned: Always check the locks.
9. Can’t Get It Up
Blame exhaustion, tiredness or lack of sleep, but there are moments when you just can’t perform no matter how much you want to and even your guy down there won’t cooperate.
When this happens, don’t be too hard on yourself. Moments like this happen, and you just need to relax and don’t focus too much on the pressure to perform well.
And if you have a partner who happens to understand the situation, minus the pressure to get it up, she’s definitely for keeps.
10. When Too Much Alcohol Gets In The Way
A glass or two is fine. This will keep your nerves calmed down and help you get in the mood. The problem lies when you just had too much and either you throw up on your partner or you just doze off because you simply cannot handle yourself.
The best form of recovery? Make up for it the following day, alcohol not included. Nobody wants to have sex with a puking machine and her libido definitely took the hard break as soon as you passed out on her.
When any of these happen, the key is to not react badly, as if you’re guilty of a crime. Stay cool and react positively. Believe it or not, she’ll find it even funny and cute and expect another session the next time. And when you two meet, don’t forget to spray on Nexus Pheromone. It is a combination of seven human pheromone compounds that will surely make you irresistible on women.