A lot has been said about the book and movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, by E.L. James. Despite the controversy surrounding the book, the trilogy took the world by storm and became the best-selling sex book of all time. In fact, women of all ages have fallen in love with the character of Christian Grey. They may have even had their hearts broken when Anastasia Steele said good bye to him. Further, they even hoped that they would meet their own Christian, too.
For sure, you’ve seen the movie with your ladylove just because she dragged you into watching it. You fell asleep and woke up with no idea why you were paying for porn when you could just watch it for free online. Did you know you could learn somethings from Christian Grey, lessons you could even apply to your life? Believe it or not, it could even improve your sex life, too.
Get your girl’s copy of the book, because here are 10 things you can learn from Fifty Shades of Grey.
1. Focus On Her – And Only Her
This is one of the reasons why women love Christian Grey. He is extremely single-minded and focused on Anastasia even if other beautiful women surround him.
He doesn’t channel his sexual energy to other women and won’t even take his eyes off his girl.
This is what women want. In fact, this is what your girl wants. She wants you to make her feel that she is the only one. She wants you to assure her and make her feel that regardless of who will walk in front of you, your eyes are glued to her.
Don’t get easily distracted on other women with big boobs or butts. If you are committed to your girl, make it clear with your intent and don’t let your eyes wander. In other words, make her the center of universe.
2. Be driven
Believe it or not, it’s not always about money. Not all women dream of marrying a dude worth billions who knows nothing about working. They appreciate it more if you don’t have millions in your bank account, but work hard to achieve something. Most women prefer men who are driven and focused, instead of those sitting or slacking around.
Therefore, it really helps to know what you are passionate about. What do you want to achieve five, 10 or 15 years from now? What are your hopes and dreams? What do you do to achieve those goals and keep your eyes on the prize? It doesn’t really matter if you are born rich or not. What matters most is how driven and hardworking you are – and she needs to see that.
3. Be Affectionate
Let’s face it: Christian Grey is a sex addict. He is aggressive, he dominates and he wants to be in control. Yes, he does spank and tie up Anastasia and make her do unconventional things in bed.
Still, he caresses her, holds her, kisses her and compliments her. Dakota Johnson was good enough to exemplify Anastasia Steele’s reactions every time Christian looks at her straight into her eyes.
That’s what she wants. She wants you compliment her and look past her physical attributes. Be sweet to her, even if it means giving her a kiss and a hug during rough days. Be the better guy and show some affection. She may not say it,but at the end of the day, all she really wants is to cuddle next to you and make her feel loved, even with her clothes on.
4. It’s Okay To Feel Vulnerable
Christian Grey wasn’t born dominant. There are reasons why he looks troubled because of the abuse and trauma in his early life. Although he practices control in all things, there are instances in the book, which were also shown in the movie, where he shows his soft side.
Apparently, most men are afraid of showing emotions and making themselves look vulnerable. Admit it. You don’t want to look like a weakling. On the other hand, your girl will appreciate it if you open up and tell her you’re in pain, hurt or feeling sad. She will love you for your strengths and vulnerabilities. Don’t be afraid to open up and show your sensitive side. Sharing emotional vulnerabilities strengthen romantic relationships. It builds trust, too.
5. Care About Her Interests
When Christian Grey found out that Ana is an English major and influenced by Thomas Hardy, he immediately sent her his first edition books. Who wouldn’t want that? You don’t have to be extravagant, or spoil your girl and give her everything she wants.
The point is, it matters a lot to pay attention to what she likes. Take the time to ask her about her interests and favorites. You don’t have to go as far as what Mr. Grey goes in the movie and books, although it won’t hurt if you go the extra mile.
The bottom line is, find out what gets her excited, and then capitalize on that if you can.
6. Sex Is Not Just About Penetration
When you think of sex, your brain tells you foreplay and penetration. However, sex and intimacy are not just about the in-and-out motion. If you weren’t sleeping at the part where Christian is showing Anastasia the playroom, you will see that the Red Room of Pain is full of “things.” These things are what Christian uses for pleasure.
Most guys rush down to the destination without even stopping at every hump along the road. That’s not how it works. Even Christian Grey knows it. He takes time to build momentum and makes use of anything he could find inside the playroom before putting it in. If you want a pleasurable and memorable ride, then slow down and enjoy the scenery.
7. Make Her Think Of Sex All Day
Women have a lot on their plate – household chores, work, kids – you name it. This is why they would rather sleep or spend an hour in the tub than have sex with you. Is there anything you could do to change that?
Of course. Keep her desire revved up all throughout the day. Just like Christian Grey, make sure that your lady love has sex in her brain all the time. Send her naughty emails or text messages. Teasingly caress her when you are out on the town or in a public place. Give her a deep, erotic kiss without taking her clothes off.
She will surely be in the mood the entire day and ready for sex as soon as you get home.
8. Be In Control
Again, Christian Grey practices control in all things. This led to his success and billion-dollar empire. However, you don’t have to boss her around and tell your girl every single thing you want. You have to be in control of yourself, as well. So, what does this mean? Live your life with a purpose. Make better choices. Live your dreams and achieve your goals. Try to slowly step out of your comfort zone, so you can be better everyday. Be responsible for your own actions and stop asking people to do things for you.
You might say there are only few billionaires below 30 who have worked their way up. The point is that there are young billionaires in real life that exist. Who knows, you might be one of them someday.
9. Take Her On A Date
When Anastasia says she wants more, which means also going on regular dates, Christian makes an effort to give her what she wants. Aside from bedroom activities, take the time to make an effort to woo her by bringing her somewhere nice.
You don’t need a personal helicopter or to own mansions to take her breath away. A simple dinner date and coffee afterwards, or a walk in the park and movie at home will remind her of how special she is to you. Taking her on a date doesn’t have to be fancy. The important thing is you show how much you appreciate her and value her happiness.
10. Stay Committed
Both in and out of bed. The truth is that great sex doesn’t happen overnight. Christian and Anastasia have to settle with a couple of vanilla sex sessions before they decide to take it to the next level, aka the playroom. A great sexual relationship requires creativity, commitment and openness. It also involves the willingness of both parties to do something different and break out of the comfort zone.
Therefore, start slow. Talk about your desires, pleasures and things you don’t want inside the bedroom. You could put it into writing to remind you of what to do and not to do. Then create a schedule and make sure to stick to it. Make sex a priority in your relationship, and you will surely put Christian Grey to shame, assuming he exists.
You see, Fifty Shades is not just for women only. Fine, it has some great sexual content and you could pick up some moves, which you could use inside the bedroom. However, it’s not all about sex and penetration. The Fifty Shades trilogy has great insight to enable you to become not just a better partner, but also a better man in general. Go ahead and read it. Don’t worry. It won’t make you less of a dude.
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